chelsea clinton wedding

Chelsea Clinton’s big fat leaked wedding
The frenzy over the former first daughter’s nuptials shows the silly, retro premium we put on women’s wedding days Chelsea’s getting married! Chelsea’s getting married! ZOMG Chelsea’s getting married!
What’s that, you hadn’t heard about the event that the former first daughter and her family have gone to great lengths to keep private, that her mother has emphatically stated is supposed to be “a family wedding”? You missed the three pieces in the New York Times, the AP story, the Washington Post’s On Faith blog featuring Deepak Chopra? The multiple New York magazine, People and ABC updates on leaked guest lists, costs, security, tents and how much weight Bill Clinton has lost? What about TMZ’s reported playlist of songs for Chelsea’s band, or the Daily Beast’s slide shows of her exes and of other presidential family weddings! What a shame to miss that last one, with it’s bone-rattling American Gladiator setup about how “the countdown is on” to find out whether Chelsea’s “rumored Rhinebeck blowout [will] best JFK Jr’s secluded glamour.” No doubt it’s exactly what young Clinton was thinking, when she first sat down with boyfriend Marc Mezvinsky, their parents and an event planner to discuss their marriage: “OK, guys, do whatever you have to do, I just want to beat John-John!”

People: Take a pill. The woman is getting married. To a man she’s known for more than half her life and with whom she has been romantically linked for years. There is no shocking twist, no showdown between her and all the other brides who ever shopped at Kleinfeld’s, or her and all the other kids who ever were told to stop roughhousing in the Lincoln Bedroom. There is no secret dance-master who’s mixed Chelsea the most ass-shaking playlist on the planet. It’s a wedding. It happens all the time.